Part 1

Gender and sexuality has been a big part of my life growing up. As I explained in my previous blog I wasn’t the average girl following the “norms”; dancing, figure skating, or doing gymnastics. Growing up this way considering myself as “one of the boys” made be very aware to the types of gender equalities and issues that arise for girls of all ages. There are many ideal standards and norms that men and women are supposed to follow in society today; a lot of these are portrayed through social media making it easy for everyone to access. Men and women have these standards to try and create a society were men are more dominate or masculine; leaving women to be the weaker, feminine gender. Being masculine means being tough, strong, and powerful; whereas feminine means being petite, weak, and being “ladylike”. For me growing up I heard the term “Ladylike” over and over again. The boys could burp whenever, but if I did it was “Cheyanne, you are a lady, act like one”. I never fully understood what this meant. To be a lady I could do normal bodily actions? I couldn’t be like my dad, my best friend, or my brother; just because of my gender? This all was confusing, but as I get older I realize that those were the norms that my dad grew up with so of course he would portray these on me. These were “normal” to my parents and grandparents. I do not blame our generation for the way women are treated as this is all that was known, but I think we can be the ones that try and change it.

Women from a young age are supposed to “act” a certain way. That explains it all. “Act”. The definition of acting; “holding a temporary rank or position: performing services temporarily.” We as women must act a certain way. Not only in public but in the comfort of our own homes. Reading Shaunesy’s blog acting a certain way really stood out to me. I easily related to her blog “A Girl”, because as a child I was the only girl on the hockey team, or hanging out with the boys doing “boy things”. Shaunesy explains how her love of hunting was hard for her growing up because she was a girl “I remember one of my best guy friends saying, “Shaunesy there is no way you shot that…you are a girl, do you even know how to use a gun?” Followed by a “I bet your dad shot that for.” I have had so many of the same encounters with the boys I call my best friends today. Mine personally went more like “Chey you only scored that goal because you had two boys on your line.” Or “If you weren’t a girl you would have got a penalty for that.” Now I understand that some of that may be true, but, why is it? Give me the penalty. If I truly  deserve the penalty then give it to me. It shouldn’t matter if I am a boy or a girl; if I deserve it then I deserve it. Shaunesy then goes on to explain that something that was so important to her became less and less important; “Soon this story became less exciting for me because no matter who I told, the initial reaction was, “you did that?? No way”. This also connects to me in a personal way. When I would tell a boy about the goals I scored or how many I got I would just get the respond “Oh! But you play girls hockey so thats easy”. This was something that was important to me, but because of my gender it was less important to not only the boys but the girls too. I believe this connects to the way women are supposed to act and behave in society. We as women are not supposed to act like we are “good” at things men do, or even try to do the things men are “normally” supposed to do.

Secondly, I connect and relate to the idea of gender roles of a women. Women for as long I’ve known have been told that their place is in the kitchen, or cleaning up after the men. Women are not supposed to make more than men, or do the masculine jobs; as women are too weak. Zoe’s blog called “Gender” really hit home for me. Reading this story made me realize how roles for a woman are so normalized that we don’t even notice them. Zoe explained how at Christmas the women are the ones cooking and cleaning up after the meal; while the men go and sit in the living room visiting. When Zoe explained how she didn’t even realize it at the beginning it made me wonder if I ever have noticed this myself “The women are all cleaning up the table and the men retire to the living room while all the ladies do the dishes and put away the leftovers. This was the first time I watched my family closely and realized how deeply ingrained gender roles are in my family.” This line really related to me and my family. Not only do these gender roles exactly aline with the roles in my family, but they also show how these roles affect future generations. Zoe also talks about how she feels as she is now following into these rolls. I can really connect to this. As I have gotten older I find myself cleaning the dishes, laying out the food, and handing out the dessert to the men that sit in the living room and watch football or hockey. This resonates with the word “roles”. These are our roles as women, and when we don’t do them we are told we are lazy, or unappreciative of all the “hard work” that men do.

Part 2

We were now told to find a story that we thought went against we could not connect to as much as the previous two stories.  As a female, it was quite hard to find a story I didn’t connect to, because I have had a lot of the same experience’s as other girls in the class. Seeing all these stories and how I relate to so many almost made me sick to my stomach. All of these women have to deal with the social “norms” and “standards” of a woman on an everyday basis; making me reflect on how I fall into these norms. I as a woman follow these normalized behaviors. I don’t even realize my behaviors, mannerisms, and the way I speak all lead back to the way I am supposed to be as a woman. Becoming a teacher, you have a very important role in a child’s life, so trying to correct these types of things is a very important if we want to make a change.

One story that really stood out to me and I couldn’t fully relate to was Noah’s. Noah blog “Barbie Boy”. Noah wanted to get a Barbie as a child at home depot, but his grandfather didn’t time that idea very much trying to convince him to go with the normal boy toys “No! Boys do not get toys like that. Those are toys for girls.” This line really stood out to me. What in the world makes it that Barbie’s are only for girls. Thinking about this made me realize it is the social norms. Boys are supposed to be masculine, and Barbie’s are not masculine. This did not relate to me growing up. When I was 2-7 I was the girl that wouldn’t leave the house without pink on, but by the age of 8 that all changed. When I turned 8 all I wanted to do was wear boy cloths, and of course that’s what I did. You would think I would be treated the same way as Noah when I wanted to buy these cloths, but I was not. My mom didn’t care that I was wearing boy cloths. She knew I played hockey and got along with boys so she let me wear what I wanted and hoped I was happy. This made me reflect on the way boys are treated compared to girls. If I was a boy that wanted to wear girl cloths they would be called “gay” like it is a bad thing. So why is this? Why can’t boys buy Barbie’s and girl cloths, but as a female I can go out wearing boy cloths and play with tractors? Social Norms. It all Comes back to how men have to be strong and masculine; taking care of the weak, feminine women.

In the end, it all comes down to; why are people in society still following and obeying these social norms. To answer this question, I am going to refer to the video we watched called “Oppressed Majority”. This video portrayed sexual assault, but men being the ones targeted. This was abnormal for me because this is such a rare thing in society today. This was so abnormal that it seems unrealistic. This made me think that we as a society are so used to the idea of women getting sexual assaulted the thought of a man being abused seems unlikely. Thinking about this is honestly scary. We as a society have normalized sexual assault among women and now it truly does seem normal. You see adds and videos everywhere portraying women as the weaker gender that always needs someone to look out for them, but this doesn’t have to be true. In the video, we see men being the weaker more feminine gender and like I said it seems so unrealistic. We need to take this step forward. We need to make people aware of the gender equalities and all the myths that come with gender stereotyping. In the novel, Is Everyone Really Equal? one line really stuck with me ” Socialization refers to our systematic training into the norms og our culture. Socialization is the process of learning the meaning and practices that enable us to make sense of and behave appropriately in that culture.” This describes perfectly of how we as a society run and why we do things the way we do.

 

Suchorab, Noah; “Barbie Boy” https://nsuchorab.wordpress.com October 23/2018

Sargent, zoe; “Gender”  https://zoesblogword.wordpress.com/2018/10/25/gender/ October 25/2018

Diemert, Shaunesy; “A GIrl” https://shaunesyblog.wordpress.com October 23/2018

Sensoy, Özlem, and Robin DiAngelo. “Is Everyone Really Equal?” 2017.

 

 

 

 

 

One question that really stood out to me while doing the privilege walk was the question about how many people in the class grew up in a family that was a single parent family, or their parents were divorced. I have grown up in a 2 parent house my entire life, and for many years I assumed most children were like me. As I got older I realized how many children were growing up with one parent, or not having their parents together. I never really thought about the impact this could have on a child growing up. Growing up in a family with 2 parents that love each other is truly a blessing. I grew up seeing two people love each other unconditionally every day, and getting to see that can really impact on how you love people in the future. I always had responsibilities as a child growing up, but listening some of the stories other people in the class had about their one family homes really had an impact on me. I have never had the feeling of being the only one to take care of my sibling for the night because my mom worked and I was the only one around. Don’t get me wrong i still had to babysit, but I think it is different when it is a thing that happens everynight, and you cant have free time. This was a very real thing for a lot of the kids in my class; and was defiantly one thing I never thought of till last class. I always had someone at my sport games, at parent teacher interviews, and food on the table for every meal. Listening to other people made me aware that these things weren’t apart of their everyday life. They didn’t always have someone to cook for them, or pick them up from school. I believe I truly am blessed for growing up in a house with two loving parents, and wouldn’t change it for the world. Doing this privilege walk opened up my eyes to some very real issues that go on in society. It also made me aware of how my life is impacted, because of my gender and race. This would have to be the time that I realized what class I could be consider in. I was promptly at the front of the privilege line and I will not say sorry for that, but I will say I am grateful.

 

Blog Post #3

Growing up playing boys hockey was always a struggle. From a young age, I was “accepted” onto the team, but truly was never fully appreciated for my skills or abilities. Being on the only female on the team is a challenge. From a young age, I was clumped together with 20 other boys in my town and surrounding towns to make a hockey team. Being the only girl on some of my teams wasn’t always the easiest. I had to learn how to stand my own ground from the start to prove that I was capable of playing on the team. Not only did I have to prove myself, but I had to became one of the “boys”. It was always the easiest trying to fit in with the boys when I was younger. They had the idea that all girls were gross and didn’t know anything about sports, so proving to them that I did wasn’t always the easiest. I specifically remember one occasion where one boy thought he should be on the ice over me because I was a girl. I can tell you the coach didn’t like that very much, and made it very clear that I was on the ice over him because of my skill, and not anything else. This was the first time my gender came clear to me. Looking back now it was hard to be that girl on the team that was better than some boys. They tend to not like when girls are better than them, so proving to them that I was just another player on the team trying my best to fit in, and do my part came as a struggle.

On the other hand, playing on a male hockey was also a blessing. The boys I played with when I was as young as 3 are still my friends today. I am the girl that is known as “one of the boys” in Balcarres. I am so grateful for the friends I made well playing the sport I love, I was everyone little sister on the team, and if anyone hurt me they were in trouble. As a child, I wasn’t in dance or, the “girly” sports so creating those relationships with the boys were very important. There was always that one boy that had the snarky comment about how I was playing basketball at recess with the boys, or how I was sitting with all the boys at lunch, but these were my best friends and teammates. The teammates I grew up with made me forget about gender. I was just their friend. It didn’t matter if I was wearing pink or, had a crush on one of them; they still excepted me into their group. I do believe gender plays a role in how you are treated to some extent, but I think that has to do with how you portray your gender. If I went onto the team thinking I was the greatest, and no one could do better than me because I was a girl; then maybe I wouldn’t have made so many great relationships. I believe some women are too quick to think they are being judge by their gender, and not just by their attitudes. I have been on both sides of the spectrum and I do not think anyone should feel the way I felt as a 8 year old getting discriminated against because of my gender.

Growing up as a white woman in southern Saskatchewan can definitely have its advantages. One major area where I notice a difference in the way people are treated because of their skin colour is when it comes to shopping in stores. When I go to the store as a white person I never have to worry about being followed, or questioned mainly because of my skin colour. I am not suspected to be the person that is stealing or causing trouble. I am not the person that makes the workers just keep an “eye” on well I go through self-checkout. We hear stories after stories of people being followed or watched for no apparent reason, yet it still happens. This is a controversial issue, and only people that can change this problem are the people causing it. I am blessed, and truly thankful I do not have to worry about these things. My race is hidden when I go shopping, my race is not a factor when I go to the store, my race is not even considered when I’m at the store just buying my family milk, and eggs. Yes, I am thankful for all these things, yes, I am privileged, and I notice that. I am aware of these issues, and I will continue to be thankful and fight for changes to be made.

I believe everyone has experienced racism or some type of discrimination in their lives. I am not trying to compare my experiences to some of the awful, awful experiences that come with racism, but I have felt discrimination because of gender. I have felt racism towards myself in the community I come from. Growing up in Balcarres is different from a lot of small towns. We are very diverse; with 4 surrounding reserves, we have a large majority of Indigenous people in our community. My race may not stand out in the big city, or in university, but it definitely did in high school. Being one of the very few White females in my class I experienced discrimination being a part of the minority. I know I am a grain in the sand, and people feel these ways every day, but i think people need to know that discrimination works in many ways.  I believe anybody can be subject to discrimination; whether its race, gender, or age. We all need to accept each other for our differences and be willing to change our ways for the better.

For me home has been a few different places from a very young age. When I was fourteen years old I moved away from the place I called home at the time to further my career in hockey. Moving away from home at such a young age made me not only realize how important home is, or home important a place that feels at home is. Family and home have always been an important part of my life, so taking this step was not the easiest thing to do in grade 9. I remember crying the night before I was going to move; I wasn’t just scared of leaving my family, but also leaving the place where I felt most comfortable on the farm with the people I loved the most. For me, 3 different places have felt like home to me and I am very grateful for that.

The first place I would call home would be the home I was raised in. This place for me is on a farm near Balcarres. This is a place I would call home because I was raised here, I can be myself here, and most of all my family the people I love the most are there. This place specifically feels like home to me because of the farming. Living in the city is very different. I am so used to smelling the cows, hearing the machinery, and waiting for my dad to come in at late hours to talk because that’s the only time I’ll see him in harvest season. I am very fortunate to have a close family. Not everyone can say they grew up just a few steps from their grandparents, and cousins as we all shared the farm. One place that feels like home to me is my billets house and this I am so grateful for. In my grade 10 years I moved in with a family that I will forever cherish, and love forever. I didn’t realize that it was possible to feel so comfortable away from home. I had 3 billet children and another girl on my team that I shared bunk beds with till I graduate; talk about getting to know someone. This family made me feel so loved, appreciated, and welcomed. Their house will forever be my second home, and I know I will always be welcomed with open and loving arms whenever I need.

The final place that I would have to call home to me would be the hockey rink. When I moved away from home I spent the majority of my time at the rink, and I can say is at the rink made me feel safe. Having the hockey team there to help you through hard times, love you no matter what, and respect your decisions was truly amazing. The bond I shared with these girls as they were also moving away was unbreakable, and I can truly say these friendships will last forever because of the rink my third home. The rink was a place I could get away from anything; the second I stepped on the ice everything that worried me was gone. I now only play hockey on the side as I wanted to focus on my schooling, so it is defiantly hard for me not having that outing. I now still get this outing when I watch my younger brother play. He has just moved away from home to peruse his career in hockey and I am so proud. When I go watch him I feel at home again, I feel so proud, it’s like I never left. This will forever be my final home; I hope when I’m ninety years old I can still feel at home watching the game I love.

This story may sound a little different then everyone else’s as I have had experience that not everyone gets, and for this, I am so thankful. Writing this paper truly made me realize how many places I do call home, and where I feel safe. Feeling safe and at home is also a big reason why I want to become a teacher. I have had the opportunity to be loved and have a place to call home, and I would like to give that to children at school that may not feel that way at the place they call home. Everyone deserves to have a place they can be themselves, be listened to, and treated equally.